CHANGE OF SEASON
Change is imminent. Resistance to change is futile and time keeps marching on. You can run as fast as you can, and you can bury your head in the sand, but you will never be able to outrun change – or Father Time.
Like many of us I have never been too keen on change. Up until just a few short years ago (4 Years in January to be exact) I had a lifelong habit of burying my head in the sand. Ignore something and either it does not exist or it will go away. That was the way my head worked and the way my actions played out for many years.
For those of you who do not know (though most do) I was once a drinking man. So it should come as no surprise when I say that my life was about denial. Though I no longer drink alcohol and have been completely sober for almost 4 years, I am not going to sit here and tell you that I have completely overcome and beaten that nasty little praxis. Despite my constant vigil it still pops up now and then, though not quite as often as it used too. Yet I am still not a big fan of change even though I have done quite a bit of it over the past few years.
So, imagine my surprise that for the first time in my life I find myself welcoming change, seeking it out, excited as to what new lessons, experiences, growth, and adventures lie ahead for me now that I am able to live and think outside of my box of false security and denial. Of course stepping outside of the box and seeking out change does not always mean that things will go the way I want them too. No, not at all. But if I am going to grow I DO have to take chances and make changes.
For me, along with all of the wonderful gifts of my recovery and my late blooming self-awareness, there are also new fears and worries. All brought on by the changes and the choices I have made in my life. But unlike I did for so many years, this time “I will not go quietly into that dark night.” I am looking forward with great anticipation to what 2014 has in store for me.
As 2013 comes to a close I am reminded of just how short life really is. I think for the first time in my life that is really hitting me. I have lost many friends this year, my daughter is in College, my band (A1A) is almost 23 years old, and I am over half a century old… But instead of whining and complaining I am going to do my best to live a healthy life of adventure and change. I am not going down without a good fight, and I am going to make the second half of my life twice as interesting as the first half. But most importantly, I am going to let God lead the way.
In closing I hope that everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving. For those of you who have been with me through thick and thin, and you know who you are, I love you. Life would not be what it is today without you.
Follow your star. Follow your heart. Follow your dream…but let God blaze the trail. I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a New Year of Change!
With the spirit of the season,